I met my husband when I was 19 years old, travelling to Aeroe island to work as a waitress at an inn for a year before starting University. I was trying to create a bit of distance to my troubled mother and the responsibility I had put on myself since I was 16 and she had her first of many emotional and mental break downs. The last thing I was looking for was a boyfriend. And there he was, one night at the bar. And then he came back again... and again... and again. I was instantly attracted to him, 23 years old, the way he teased me, a little bit shy, but in his eyes I saw and felt abundances of kindness and a good heart. The stability and safety I needed in what was otherwise a traumatic and horrible decade. A month or so after our first meeting we sat up all night talking and listening to music. Even at this point I was unaware of what was happening besides the fact that I was making a new friend and having a great time. But looking back I have no doubt I was falling in love at first sight.
That first year, every time he left for his 3-week shift on his ship, I cried myself to sleep (Did I mention I was 19 :-D ). This week that is 15 years ago and yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary.
If you meet someone when you're 30 and are with them for 15 years chances are that although you have grown you probably won't have changed too much. When you're 19 you're basically still a kid in many ways. I have changed ALOT over the course of those 15 years, it has been painful but necessary changes, and he has been with me all the way even without always understanding what I was going through. Now don't get me wrong, my husband is not a saint. I have had to put up with a lot as well. I think if you are able to stay together and hold on to eachother through those growing stages, hold on to that shared vision of what you want your lives to be, it adds a very special element to a relationship because you have kind of "grown up" together. I remember the 23 year old version of my husband fondly. How independent and carefree we were in those years. It seems a different lifetime now. But I love the 37 year old version of him with all my heart. I have seen him grow into a man. I have witnessed him being a wonderful father to our two children. I deeply love the grey hairs starting to show on the sides of his head. They remind me of everything we have been through. He is mine and I am his, and yet we are our own as well. I am sure we still have lots of fights and discussions in our future, but there is also lots of love, and more new "lifetimes" to be had. I can't wait!